My Vegan Detox - Slimmeria at Hye House

The word detox can mean different things to different people. Its meaning disastrously distorted by attention-seeking celebrities, confused journalists (Lord knows i've been there) and overzealous marketing people in a desperate bid to sell the latest body brush or cayenne pepper-infused gloopy health drink.

For me, a true detox involves abstaining from harmful foods and intoxicating substances for a period of time, consuming antioxidant-rich, healing foods and plenty of fresh water, for the purpose of reviving the body and uplifting the mind.

This is exactly what I did at Slimmeria - the slimming and detox retreat claiming to make you loose up to a stone in a week, ran by the eccentric, yet endearing Galia Grainger.

Am I also colour coordinated? HELL YEAH!!

When I was invited to visit this regal looking, 17th Century mansion, nestled pompously within the scenic pastures of East Sussex, I accepted with a mixture of fear and delight. I visualised myself emerging after a week of hibernation with a glowing complexion, bursting with the kind of energy only really seen demonstrated by smug vegan yoga instructors fresh from enlightening holidays in the Himalayas. 

I was enticed by the talk of spa treatments, relaxation, yoga, long seaside walks and healthy vegan food, so I decided to pack my bags full of comfy sportswear (guests are given an extensive list of what to bring) and set off with the company of a loved one who desperately wanted to loose weight in time for her looming Californian beach break.

Once we arrived, we are taken to a zen-like relaxation room (which I randomly recognised from an episode of Made in Chelsea), where we filled out forms and measured each other, before being whisked off to be weighed.

We then made our way to our room and were impressed with its grand size, deliriously comfortable bed and lavish antique adornments. I later discovered that Galia has a penchant for furnishings with a story behind them and regularly bids at auctions in order to fill Hye House with history.

Our ponderings were abruptly disturbed by the clanging of a loud bell - the method for announcing meals and exercise classes at Slimmeria.

Go on. Clang meh. You know you want to...

Clutching our empty tummies, we rushed down the creaky stairs and swept past a (slightly eerie) figure in metal armour, as we made our way to the communal dining room.

We were faced with a table surrounded by 8 or so women of varying ages and our dinner - a pitiful bowl of depressed looking vegetables, mournfully bobbing about in warm water. I stared in shock at this watery meal - a lone cauliflower bulb looking up at me, feeling thoroughly ashamed of itself for being part of such a bland charade.

I suddenly remembered that the episode of Made in Chelsea I recalled earlier involved Galia confiscating mobile phones and serving minuscule plates of salad to the Sloaney crew - which they mistook for starters.

Reeling from the initial shock, we all ploughed on regardless and consumed this simple dish whilst each sharing our thoughts of the experience so far...and our fears.

Luckily, one of the ladies present had already been through the Slimmeria experience, and so from that moment on became our Slimmeria guru. We would ply her with questions to reassure our worried selves and she would regale us with her positive stories and uplifting advice. 

She told us that the food would improve and she was right. I think Gaila wanted to shock everyone on the first night with extreme blandness, so that when other vegetable-rich dishes were placed in front of us, we would appreciate their flavoursome glory.

A typical day from our week at Slimmeria involved being woken at 7.15am by the clanging of the massive medieval-style bell, before going downstairs for a cleansing drink of hot water and lemon (and a tiny snippet of apple - and I don't use the word snippet lightly). We would then all embark on a 6 mile scenic walk - either by the sea or in the lush greenery surrounding the retreat. This would take us approximately two hours and would be rather strenuous to say the least - although we would perk up at Galia's witty words of encouragement as she minced ahead in her colour-coordinated walking gear, looking far too fabulous at such an ungodly hour of the morn.

For those of us suffering with the dreaded sugar withdrawal headache, we were presented with a 'magic raisin.' Thats right. One single, shiny, lonesome, naked raisin. 

Hye House - there be no getting high in here that's for sure....

We would then arrive back at Hye House, exhausted and ravenous, for our breakfast - a lonesome glass of freshly pressed juice (vegetable or orange and grapefruit). Porridge was available if requested earlier - yet this was severely frowned upon and met with judgemental stares. I was tempted to order this many times, but resisted in support of my fellow detoxers. 

Please sir...can I have some more..No seriously

Ok, I unashamedly confess, there was one time I caved in...and once more on the last morning too - but this was a celebratory occurrence for everyone who completed their stay.

Can I've a bacon roll with that please mate?

Shortly after draining our glasses, we would then be summoned to our first exercise class. This would be something that got the heart beat racing, such as boxersize (ah! so much fun!), legs bums and tums or circuits.

After an hour sweating away, we would emerge red-faced and flustered to the all-white relaxation room to indulge in an hour-long hatha yoga class - followed by a blissful savasana session so soothing that a few of us would end up making a slumbery visit to the land of nod.

Being a lifelong yoga fan, I welcomed these classes with glee. In my opinion, they were the perfect way to wind down and relax both the mind and body after such active mornings.

Damnit theres a hole in my leggings.

The clanging of the bell would then summon us all to the nearby dining room where we would gorge on crunchy, colourful vegan salads - artistically designed and Instagram-ready. These delicious raw dishes consisted of antioxidant-rich cabbage, beetroot, quinoa, carrots, tomatoes and more - usually drenched with health-boosting apple cider vinegar.

Get in my wholesome belleh

After lunch, we were free to do as we pleased (apart from down a vat of ice-cream or hoover up a Big Mac of course).

Most of us would also have our spa treatments at this time, which took place in a small, yet atmospheric room - somewhere I would imagine Henry the 8th having a facial in his castle - if he was the pampering kind.

I had three treatments during my stay - a relaxing facial, the hour long relaxation massage and...another relaxation massage (so good I needed another go).

Being a self-confessed beauty addict who has ponced about many luxury spas in her time, I was seriously impressed with the talents of the therapists at Slimmeria - all of whom I wanted to smuggle into my suitcase and take back to London Town for impromptu spa sessions at my convenience.

After these blissful bouts of indulgence, we would either go for extra walks in the idyllic surroundings (I could imagine that in the summer everyone dives into the outdoor pool for a few laps), or hibernate with a good book - awaiting the happy arrival of afternoon tea - which was sadly not announced by the clanging bell, so we had to remember its daily fruity arrival in the dining room at 3pm sharp.

And fruity it was. This was no stodgy affair involving freshly-baked scones and lashings of sugar-laden jam. Oh no. Laid out on tiny plates were tiny slices of various fruits such as papaya, grapes, apples and melons - which we all welcomed eagerly.

It's intriguing how much better fruit and vegetables can taste when you shun naughty foods from your diet. My abstinence of processed foods, sugar and alcohol meant that my taste buds were gloriously revived.

Dinner was at 6.30pm and would always consist of a hot meal - usually composed of more cabbage, peppers, tomatoes and carrots - again beautifully presented by the imaginative chef. Don't get me wrong, there were times when I would have happily traded my left armpit for a chicken and mushroom pie,  yet I could feel the benefits of eating such healthy, cleansing foods - and this kept me going.

After dinner, there was either a 'fun' exercise class such as Zumba, group therapy sessions, musical theatre dancing or belly dancing - instructed by a hilarious teacher who made us fantasise about Brad Pitt and George Clooney to inspire more sensual dance moves.

Damn my need for posing. 

One evening there was also a talk by a nutritionist who clearly knew what she was talking about - cook with raw coconut oil, only eat organic meat (if you must eat meat), refined carbs/sugar are the devil and organic butter is better for you than these heavily marketed 'low fat,' 'cholesterol lowering' spreads. I think her winning quote was "margarine is one molecule away from plastic." - this may not be technically true but I got her point. 

After these activities, for some odd reason, we would find ourselves snuggling on the massive sofa in the TV room to watch naughty foodie programmes - such as The Great British Bake Off. I still don't understand the psychology behind this painful practice as it felt like torture, yet at the same time sated our gastronomic desires.

My week at Slimmeria was a tough yet satisfying combination of strenuous exercise, wholesome vegan meals, soul-soothing relaxation, uplifting girly chatter, occasional boats of madam-like moaning and hearty laughter. I made friends with inspirational women (who lost between 7 - 13 pounds each), engaged in a heated debate about my hatred for Quorn with a vegetarian, gave up my daily smoking habit (argh my secret is out) and rid my body of refined carbs, processed animal protein, sugar and toxic alcoholic beverages.

I lost a couple of pounds too, yet thankfully managed to gain it back the following week by indulging in a massive (and well-deserved) foodfest (my intention was to detox, not lose weight).

Seriously, let me in...I forgot my magic raisin 

I left with clear, glowing skin and a sprightly spring in my step, boisterous enough to rival any smug vegan yoga instructor...

Dr Alkaitis Organic Skin Food Facial - CONTENT Beauty

For a fresh-faced glow that suggests you've been frolicking joyfully in a sun-strewn meadow, the face needs to be thoroughly exfoliated and detoxified. Sadly, flaky, dull skins look a sorry state, even under the most fabulous skin-enhancing make up. 

Recently I have spent many late nights hunching over my laptop working on the exciting new women's London freemium, Elate Magazine - of which I am editor in chief and beauty director (argh, so much work dammit!). 

My weary, overworked self was starved of TLC and my skin parched due to broken sleep and central heating turned up on high. I was in desperate need of a radiance boost, so I booked an appointment at the quaint beauty store and salon - CONTENT Beauty in Marylebone for The Organic Skin Food Facial - by the renowned vegan and organic skincare brand Dr Alkaitis.

A beauty-lovers paradise 

Such pleasing arty pomp!

This treatment is 100% organic and each component of the products used are biologically active and therefore more readily absorbed.

The facial began with a thorough cleanse to purify and remove dead skin cells using a purifying cleanser. This was massaged into my skin in circular motions and removed by a warm damp cotton towel.  

My therapist then applied an enzyme exfoliating mask which dissolved accumulated debris and dead skin - natures' glorious alternative to a chemical peel.  Containing enzymes of bromelain and papain (from pineapple and papaya), this wonder mask naturally exfoliated and also brightened my complexion with its antioxidant-abundant extracts of strawberry and blueberry.

Such creative folk

This intensive procedure was followed by a lymphatic drainage massage on my face, décolletage and arms to manually detoxify, firm and plump the skin. A soothing treatment oil was used, containing raw, cold-pressed ingredients, including jojoba,  turmeric and white sandalwood to hydrate and repair.

So live, so fresh, so wow

Just when I thought it was all over, a final mask was applied to deeply nourish and rejuvenate. I was excited to discover that my therapist had mixed in some manuka honey to activate the raw ingredients of  grass juice and seaweed. This enabled all the wholesome components to work at optimum levels and actually “feed” the skin with nutrients.

Organic just does it better. 

After a relaxing arm massage, the ‘live’ mask (agh, its alive!) was removed and my skin moisturized to a pleasingly luminous state with a microcirculation-stimulating cream containing echinacea and St Johns Wort.

The result – my skin looked radiant, pores appeared more refined and previous niggling thoughts eradicated.

For more info on Elate Magazine (and if you have a fondness for extreme food porn) please follow us on Twitter and Instgram @ElateMagazine.

Agua Aromatherapy Massage - Agua Spa at the Sanderson

Agua Spa at the unashamedly luxurious Sanderson Hotel is a hidden sanctuary nestled within the midst of the hustle and bustle of London's heaving West End.

Upon hearing of my post New Years Eve frazzled state, a fellow spa addict recommended I try the Agua Aromatherapy Massage, which uses both eastern and western massage techniques and high quality essential oils from Aromatherapy Associates. This renowned skincare brand is renowned for their soul-soothing organic formulations and sustainable methods of scouring chemical-free ingredients. 

The treatment itself aims to relive stress, expel toxins from body tissues and effectively stimulate blood flow and lymphatic circulation - very appealing to my naughtily overindulged, toxin-laden self.

The minimalist, pure-white, spiritual decor of the place immediately evoked a feeling of calm and serenity as I entered, allowing me to leave behind the troubling tribulations of city life. 

I was shown through to a glorious mass of white billowing curtains to view the inviting relaxation room - complete with pleasing selection of magazines and healthy refreshments. There was also a rather seductive steam room and (ingenious!) personal meditation enclosures, fitted with flat screen TVs for not so mediative individuals.

After filling out the obligatory health forms, my friendly and welcoming therapist guided me to the all-white treatment room and proceeded to discuss the benefits of each essential oil formulation that would be used for my full body massage. I chose the Support Organic Supersenstive Oil - Aromatherapy Associates' delicate formula of jojoba, apricot kernel and chamomile.

As I drifted off to a blissfully relaxed haze, the expert combination of firm and gentle massage techniques soothed the tension from my muscles, whilst the calming classical music contributed to my tranquil state. My therapist would occasionally stop and present her oil laden hands to my face, instructing me to inhale deeply before the next stage of the treatment - further enhancing my sensory experience.

Whilst relaxing in my sumptuous meditation booth after my rejuvenating massage, I contemplated how long I could stay in this mesmerising place. Cocooned in such a dreamy ambience, I had no desire to pry myself away and return to the rainy gloom of London streets. 

But hey ho! Pry myself away was what I did - with the addition of silky smooth, fragrant skin, a deliciously spaced-out swagger and a renewed drive to take on the city...and a brand new year.

Aveda Full Spectrum Hair Colour...and a cheeky touch of volume

If you’re a regular reader of my beloved blog, I’m sure you’re used to reading my numerous blatherings on the toxic nature of chemicals in mainstream skincare, how they are so readily absorbed into the bloodstream - and therefore how terribly harmful they can be to our innocent little bodies. 

After thorough research on the matter, I now feel the need to indulge in a satisfactory rant on the dangerous effects of both domestic and salon based hair dye, before discussing the much kinder, botanically derived natural hair colouring treatment by Aveda – pioneers in plant-based, ethically produced skin and hair care.

Firstly, I want to emphasise that chemical-based hair dye has been proven to cause carcinogenic effects in some people.  This isn’t airy fairy speculation or exaggerated scare-mongering. A report from the National Cancer Institute in 1994 clearly states that long term users of dark synthetic hair dyes have an increased risk of cancers, such as multiple myeloma and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

In 2001, a study in the International Journal of Cancer discovered that those who regularly use chemical-based permanent hair dye to colour their hair are twice as likely to develop bladder cancer as those who don't use such toxic colouring products.

Many of us are now thankfully shunning the dreadful risk of potentially developing cancer in the quest for the perfect colour or to cover those pesky gray stragglers, and are looking for safer alternatives.

I booked an appointment for an all over colour at the Aveda Institute in London's Covent Garden after learning about their Full Spectrum hair colour, which is composed of plant and non-petroleum based minerals, rather than an abundance of hazardous chemicals.

During a colour consultation a week before my actual colour treatment, I discussed my colouring concerns with the creative technician who reassured me that I would achieve the desired effect. I was told that a slightly darker colour (very on-trend dahlings for Autumn/Winter) with a warm, golden tone would be a rather flattering look for me and would compliment my olive skin and dark brown eyes perfectly.

Where did errybody go?

On the day of the colouring treatment, I was welcomed by my warm and cheery creative technician, who nestled me in a comfortable chair with a much needed cup of tea and a pile of glossy magazines to flick though whilst she expertly cocooned each strand of my hair with the botanically-enriched colour.

A permanent colour was applied to my roots, comprised of 97% naturally derived ingredients and a 99% natural semi-permanent colour throughout the lengths and ends of my long hair. Due to the vast number of times the lengths of long hair have been dyed and the absence of greys, it is not necessary to colour this area with a permanent dye. 

I was told that a permanent colour is only required to cover re-growth and greys at the roots and a semi-permanent, glossing colour is used simply to ‘refresh’ the colour of the rest of the mane.

After an invigorating shampoo and head massage, my hair was spritzed with Aveda’s Damage Control spray to prevent tangling, protect against heat styling and breakage from combing. I was excited to see my new colour but had to patiently await the results whilst experiencing a root lifting, volumising blow dry.

Arty natural decor sadly not included...

Finally, I admired the finished result in the mirror. Shiny, voluminous locks, dark, rich brown in colour with shimmering tones of gold that caught the light mesmerisingly

I was thrilled with the colour result and vibrant shine emanating from my glossy locks, and even more so when told that I could maintain this ‘just coloured’ lustrous look by using three of Aveda’s haircare products from the Colour Conserve range.

The Colour Conserve Shampoo, which contains green tea and grape seed extract gently cleanses coloured hair and effectively protects it from environmental aggressors to prevent fading. I relished in the amount of SLS free lather produced as I washed my freshly dyed hair a couple of days after my colouring treatment.

The conditioner of the range is extra nourishing, as dyed hair requires more moisture to lock in colour and maintain a glossy appearance. Bitter orange peel extract and jojoba oil help to hydrate dyed hair that tends to be dryer and more porous.

It was recommended that at least once a week I use the Colour Conserve Strengthening Treatment to envelop my hair in intense moisture and strengthen each hair shaft with sunflower and macadamia nut oil, to ensure stronger hair and enduring richness of the colour.

Due to my ardent love of extra hair, I finished off my new look with the addition of some sultry, yet delightfully discreet extensions from the aptly named Secret Extensions  (previously blogged about here) - famed for their tress-transforming abilities and celeb-heavy clientele. 

Merry Christmas! 

The final festive look.